Bargained for Rosary.

Went to Dublin's Flea Market today. although it doesn't come close to

Santa Cruz's antique fair/ flea markets, or Los Angeles Rosebowl,

I did find this gem, vintage rosary beads. 

Although I am not of the practicing faith, I love 

love religious "brickabrack".

Anyway there are five silver tablets-on each tablet the front says:

 Roses of Joy

Thorns of Sorrow

Palms of Glory

Then the backs say:

1st. 

J) Annunciation

S) Agony in Garden

G) Resurrection

2D

J) Visitation

S) Scouring (difficult to read)

G) Ascension

3D

J) Nativity 

S) Crowning with Thorns

G) Descent of Holy Ghost

4th

J) Presentation

S) Cross Carrying

G) Assumption

5th

J) Finding of Jesus

S) Crucifixion

G) Crowning of Mary

Pat. Pend.

The Cross

Jesus

Mary

Joseph

Be With Us

On Our Way

Does anyone know what the J, S, G stand for? And is this universally found on all rosary beads?

The Diagnosis

Ah, my breed of men

roaring, seething

 for Obsession and Constraint

compelled by the act to dominate

and do you dare reject that

pressure produces counter-pressure,*

you never gave a shit

for the former or the latter

bellowing, tension feels good

only when it surges.

Ah, my breed of men

suits and ties

the professional kind

the mind of a machine

paralyzed and brainless

kick off your shoes to sigh

careful, cause reflecting

is Subjective's misfortune

and you are in the place

to be objectified. 

Ah, my breed of men

swing, swing, swing

strike Speculation

to murder Common Sense  

and when you pull out the organs

the defect will be undressed

devour thought

devour strength

be the machine

my breed of men

and all will suffer

the masochistic disease. 

* excerpts from Adorno's Diagnosis

My Dreams Have Changed Now

"' I used to believe that Tuskar was a man and the Blackwater Lightship was a woman and they were both sending signals to each other and to other lighthouses, like mating calls. He was forceful and strong and she was weaker but more constant, and sometimes she began to shine her light before darkness had really fallen. And I thought they were calling to each other; it was very satisfying, him being strong and her being faithful...You know, I thought your father would live forever.' " 

The Blackwater Lightship, Colm Tóibín

Céad Míle Fáilte

Till Death Do We Never Part

your quest for ultimate reality 

has lost shape 

yet your version of truth

oozes from your lips 

and then dribbles

death is the

absolute price

of absolute value

and it is unfortunate

that your pockets have run dry,

oh you Men of Saints

forever will you debase death

and death forever will debase you.

Your stand in ready

please exit the living

but with your piteous attempt

to veil your soul

you will never escape

domestication.

Atleast They Are Wankers, We Are Just Scum

Cinematic drug trips, dark humour at its best.

Please watch this film.

Monkey Business

Utopias can only survive in the temporary

because humans exist 

and the what ifs

can never be erased

Unstable Constantly Changeable

"I don't know what I have done, I'm turning myself to a demon"

 Fleet Foxes, Tiger Mountain Peasant Song

OTG: Openly Titular Gesture. One True God.

Do yourself a favor and read this book.

The Non-Fictitious Comic Book Invisibly Illustrated

Maybe we all 

have the same narrative

switch the names

the nouns

Ha!

now you are 

reading yourself.

If we are so universal

maybe its time to

stop shooting

the pedestrians

the civilians

the other-siders

the wrong-doers

the right siders

the leftist

the crazies

the young

the old.

How far are we

removed from trauma?

Cinematic Cyber-Space Kabooms!

We can only believe

we are all

living on this god-damn planet

and it is time

to start re-writing

the narrative

cause Hitler

and Superman

sure have a lot in common.

Jouissance is Suffering

Poem

I heard of a man

who says words so beautifully

that if he only speaks their name

women give themselves to him.

If I am dumb beside your body

while silence blossoms like tumors on our lips

it is because I hear a man climb stairs

and clear his throat outside our door.

The Music Crept By Us

I would like to remind

the management

that the drinks are watered

and the hat-check girl

has syphilis

and the band is composed

of former SS monsters

However since it is

New Year's Eve

and I  have lip cancer

I will place my

paper hat on my

concussion and dance

The Nightmares Do Not Suddenly

The nightmares do not suddenly

develop happy endings

I merely step out of them

as a five year old scientist

leaves the room

where he has dissected an alarm clock

Love wears out

like overused mirrors unsilvering

and parts of your faces

make room for the wall behind

If terror needs my round green eyes

for a masterpiece

let it lure them with nude keyholes

mounted on an egg

And should Love decide

I am not the one

to stand scratching his head

wondering what wall to lean on

send King Farouk to argue

or come to me dressed as a fast

Leonard Cohen Selected Poems 1956-1968

She Drank Her Feeble Drink

For Marie Stopes

i planted the seed

with haste and 

with a taste

of destruction

i never cared

for the fruits

i never wanted

them to grow

but i planted the seed

not with naivety

no the knowledge

was clear in my mind

that when i shoveled

and when  i dug

i knew

i planted the seed

i confess

i confess!

i never cared

for the fruits

i never wanted

them to grow

but the first day

i watched

the soil swell

i swear

i could feel

the specks

flutter

under the pile

of dirt

harnessing 

a root

before it blossomed

i felt my way

deep in the dirt

letting the roots

slip between

my fingers

and i

yanked

and i

yanked

i never cared for the fruits

i never wanted them to grow

Maser Loves You

I was really fortunate to be invited to Maser and Damien Dempsey's gallery opening

unfortunately for Dublin I keep getting stuck in interviews. After thinking over my answers I spend my time "hitting my head on the wall, metaphorically."

Must learn to say just say no.

Hey! You! Get Off Of My Cloud.

Daniel: "Rock and roll don't come from your brain, it comes from your crotch."

Freaks and Geeks

Recipe 101

Split Red Lentil and Spinach Curry Recipe

• 2 cups red lentils
• 1 large onion, diced
• 1 tablespoon vegetable oil
• 2 tablespoons curry paste
• 1 tablespoon curry powder
• 1 teaspoon ground turmeric
• 1 teaspoon chili powder
• 1 teaspoon salt
• 1 teaspoon white sugar
• 1 teaspoon minced garlic
• 1  can tomato puree
• 1 can spinach puree
• 
  

1. Wash the lentils in cold water until the water runs clear put the lentils in a pot with water to cover and simmer covered until lentils tender 
2.  In a large skillet or saucepan, caramelize the onions in vegetable oil.
3. In another bowl combine the curry paste, curry powder, turmeric,, chili powder, salt, sugar, and garlic  in a mixing bowl. When the onions are cooked, add the curry mixture to the onions and cook over a high heat stirring constantly for 1 to 2 minutes.
4. Stir in the tomato puree and reduce heat, allow the curry base to simmer until the lentils are ready. Add the spinach puree
5. When the lentils are tender drain them briefly. Mix the curry base into the lentils and serve immediately.

*spinach can be substituted with peas! great with naan or rice!


okay so yes, it doesn't look very appetizing, but I promise you its yummy. So if Indian food is your thing, try it. 

My bedroom, slowly feeling like me.

She Stole On Me and Took My Queen

Blanche the Fair

And they buried her 

body along with the rest

but in a box of her own

even then

man is teased

never united

never alone

He Fumbles at Your Soul

I am the cross-referencing snatcher.

Different Items Different Cities.

Robert Mitchum, Lila Leeds

article left on my doorstep

CCTV trying to say something to me?

He's A Ride

"We'd been dancing together in a circle, our jackets and jumpers and bags on the floor in front of us, and I was sweating a bit. And I felt the sweat when I saw Charlo. This wasn't a crush, this wasn't David Cassidy or David Essex over there, it was sex. I wanted to go over there and bite him.

He took the fag from his mouth, I could feel the lip coming part of the way before letting go, and blew a gorgeous jet of smoke up into the light. It pushed the old smoke out of its way and charged into the ceiling.

He was coming over. The cigarette went onto the floor; he flicked it away, didn't look where it was going. He was coming straight at me but he wasn't looking. I was shiteing; he was going to walk past me."

Unfortunately, this is not a love story. And it is pretty much Badlands- only the Irish version. The hardest part to get through this book is reading the thoughts of this battered woman. How she defends her husband till the end, only because she loves him, and how she powerfully manipulates her own thoughts. This book constantly switches between past and present, and crying in St. Stephan's Green was a tad embarrassing but this book is pretty "brutal" and Doyle uses only the best Irish slang! 

And You Thought I Couldn't Mind-Read

We live in-between

two doors of our psychosis 

which do you believe?

The House of Fame

I like to watch

the students

try to enter

the Arts building

after security 

locks the lower glass doors

some eager to enter

try all four 

some try only once

some don't seem

to get it

when the fellow

in front

pushes the glass

and turns around

no they too

must feel the 

resisted push

and I wonder

from some bird's eye view

if something else

finds humor in this

like I do

I Will Shake You Off

Sister, presently I do not know what my professors are trying to tell me other than humans are the worse predators on planet Earth. The human strengths include memory, desire, determination. All of these determine downfall. Memories to haunt us, desires to drive other's away, and determination envelopes us with madness. The line has blurred, danger is present if the human mind can be fed by any kind of knowledge. Are men innately evil? Do we die because no matter what we are doomed a demise? Every book and film this university has shoved at me ponders if men are alone or united, but if Kane calls out "snowball" is the memory substantial enough for him to feel not alone or at peace with his past? Emerson states that with experience, human's "must be suspicious of the deceptions of the element of time". And every so often my roommate says to not worry there is always time, regardless of there being a mistake in her translation, I swear I feel time slip. And I am afraid that all of this will one day be a memory, and I will leave with one eye laughing and the other crying, and neither comforts me. I wish that memories had the same consistency as the glue on the back of a post-it. 

Do Yourself A Favor

"He turned on his bedside lamp to look at the faded roses of the wallpaper, then turned it off again. In the darkness he got up and stretched out on the sofa beneath the windows, which he sometimes did when he couldn't sleep. He might tiptoe across the landing, as once or twice he had, to gaze down at the soft fair hair spread on the pillow, eyes gently closed. But tonight he didn't.

He dozed, quite easily in the end, and then in some Italian church the woman sacristan read the evening lesson. In the shaded corner of the piazza men played cards. 'Love is greedy when it is starved,' Heloise reminded him when they walked across the difficult paving. 'Don't you remember, Everard? Love is beyond all reason when it is starved.'"

-The Story of Lucy Gault

Memory

I did not want to see him after the year had passed what I feared most was losing the memory of him the second I saw the real him and that memory would be erased, forever gone, lost and re-catalogued with his new face, new hair, new mannerisms I knew that this newly catalogued man would not be the memory of the man I loved. 

This House Has A Shadow

Legs Revisited

Abuse

of the language

and you argued against

this

yet when

you ask

how I am

I am to 

respond

how are you?

How are you?

How are you?

How are you?

How are you?

I play this game

with Zeus James

the three legged cat

and he tells me

it's never easy

and it never

gets easier

just play their game

and eventually

someone will let you in.

Set The Hearts Of Youth On Fire

I think I spend too much time in Chapters. But in the used section upstairs every day one of my favorite books is propped up on a shelf. I'd like to think its the guy at the information desk, kindly placing these books out for me since we hang out pretty much everyday, of course while he is on the clock and I am looking for some book for a class. I always wonder what his life is like outside of the bookstore, and when does he actually have time to read since he is always in there. But god damn he pretty much knows all existing books, and gives me recommendations every day. I would like to call him my best friend. 

"Yes, but you know I haven't any children. Besides I am a foreigner. I have no intention of dying here."

"Mr. Barlow, you are afraid of death."

"No, I assure you."

"It is a natural instinct, Mr. Barlow, to shrink from the unknown. But if discussed openly and frankly you remove morbid reflections. That is one of the things the psycho-analysts have taught us. Bring your dark fears into the light of the common day of the common man, Mr. Barlow. Realize that death is not a private tragedy of your own but the general lot of man." 

We Call Him Our Saviour

Well I guess it is meant to be, I entered a second hand bookshop and the Book of Longing was propped up nicely on the poetry shelf. 

The Book of Longing

I can't make the hills
the system is shot
I'm living on pills
for which I thank God

I followed the course
from chaos to art
desire the horse
depression the cart

I sailed like a swan
I sank like a rock
but time is long gone
past my laughing stock

My page is too white
my ink is too thin
the day wouldn't write
what the night pencilled in

My animal howl
My angel's upset
But I'm not allowed
a trace of regret

For someone will use
what I couldn't be
my heart will be hers
impersonally

She'll step on the path
She'll see what I mean
my will cut in half
and freedom between

For less than a second
our lives will collide
the endless suspended
the door open wide

Then she will be born
to someone like you
what no one has done
she'll continue to do

I know she is coming
I know she will look
and that is the longing
and this is the book

Sweet Time
How sweet time feels
when it's too late

and you don't have to follow
her swinging hips

all the way into
your dying imagination

Fun

It is so much fun
to believe in God
you must try it sometime
try it now
and find out whether
or not
God wants you
to believe in Him

"I believe you are standing in the place where I am suppose to be standing"

The Sweetest Little Song

You go your way
I'll go your way too