She Drank Her Feeble Drink

For Marie Stopes

i planted the seed

with haste and 

with a taste

of destruction

i never cared

for the fruits

i never wanted

them to grow

but i planted the seed

not with naivety

no the knowledge

was clear in my mind

that when i shoveled

and when  i dug

i knew

i planted the seed

i confess

i confess!

i never cared

for the fruits

i never wanted

them to grow

but the first day

i watched

the soil swell

i swear

i could feel

the specks

flutter

under the pile

of dirt

harnessing 

a root

before it blossomed

i felt my way

deep in the dirt

letting the roots

slip between

my fingers

and i

yanked

and i

yanked

i never cared for the fruits

i never wanted them to grow